I was perusing the interwebs and came across a hidden post on the Hacker for Hire Blog
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Facebook.
Caution: Facebook may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Facebook contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use Facebook on concrete.
Discontinue use of Facebook if any of the following occurs:
tingling in extremities
loss of balance or coordination
If Facebook begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Facebook may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Facebook should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Facebook, Mark “Big Daddy” Zuckerberg, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Facebook include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Facebook has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Facebook.
Facebook comes with a lifetime guarantee.